A more serious post today. I wanted to write a blog post on this because it is such an important thing and even though it is a lot more discussed now than it was, I believe it should still be talked about more to make more people aware and to help those who are struggling.
A surprising 1 in 10 women struggle with postnatal depression and still, it is not a highly discussed issue. It is so important that this is normalised and discussed more so new mums or mums who have never dealt with this in other pregnancies know that this is a normal thing!
When I first had my son my partner’s Nan said to me “have you got the blue’s yet?” and I said “No”. She then said to me “you will” – I though pffftt no not me, I won’t struggle with them, I was so wrong.
One thing that you will constantly hear is “this is the best time of your life, enjoy it” but, unfortunately for some mums, it’s pretty shitty. No matter how much you try or how much you love this tiny little human, you just cannot be happy. Do not fret, do not beat yourself up about it – you are not alone.
I wanted to share a couple of tips that helped me and hopefully, they will be of some use to you.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart if you tell someone it will help you. After all, a problem shared is a problem half solved. I bottled it up so much put on a smile and shed loads of makeup when really I wanted to be in my bed in pyjamas feeling sorry for myself. Tell someone your partner, your mother, a friend, your GP, anyone! To this day only my partner really knows how crappy I was feeling but he is the biggest help.
Make time for you.
Tell your partner or whoever is supporting you that you need some you time, some self-love if you will. Take a bath, have a nap, paint your nails; do something you enjoy even if it is for half an hour because trust me this helps massively. One thing that helped me was making a conscience effort to put makeup on every day, I know this will not be everyone’s cup of tea but, do something that makes you feel fabulous.
Have a good cry.
People underestimate the power of a good cry or a good moan – if something is on your chest, get it off! Even if you just need to sit on your own and have an ugly sob. As an overemotional person by nature, this helps me.
Know that you are not going insane.
Everything you are feeling or thinking is completely normal – it is ok. Do not panic yourself or get worked up. If you have a negative or scary thought – tell someone or accept that it was wrong and move on! You will feel more positive soon, these will go away!
Give credit where credit is due.
Your child is fed? Great. Your child is clean? Amazing. Your child is happy? SPOT ON. You are doing amazing, tell yourself that. Sure you may not be an Instagram mum who looks like a model, has perfectly behaved kids, a spotless house, and still has time to create perfect crafts from Pinterest but, who the fuck is? I mean if you are you go Glen Coco but most of us are not.
Hoped that this helped you and if you’re ever in need of someone to talk to just contact me!